Table of Contents
Soft Skills
General Principles
The Pausch Theorem: People won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.
The Golden Rule - a 0th order default guess on what to do in a tricky situation when you don't have time to think
How To Apologize - 6 Key Steps:
- “Say you're sorry. Not that you 'regret,' not that you are 'devastated.' Say you're 'sorry.'”
- “Say what it is that you're apologizing for. Be specific.”
- “Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.”
- “Don't make excuses.”
- “Say why it won't happen again. What steps are you taking?”
- “If it's relevant, make reparations: 'I'm going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I'm going to do my best to fix what I did.'”
Mentoring
The Science of Effective Mentorship in STEMM (Online Guide V1.0) - PDF version here
Center for the Improvement of Mentored Experiences in Research (CIMER)
Communication Skills
Calling In (Loretta J. Ross) - vs. Calling Out
Communication Courses from MSU HR
Education, Training & Assessments from The Ombuds Office
Navigating the Ph.D. Workshops from The Graduate School
Adulting
Conflict Resolution
The following is a selection of resources that were shared with us during a difficult conversations workshop led by Ryan Smith (MSU Ombudsperson) that we had during a group meeting in 2025(?).
Conflict Resolution Brochure from Ryan Smith (MSU Ombudsperson)
Ryan Smith's slide on Conflict Resolution
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (Book)
